Never could I have envisioned the siege of emotions to overcome me as my military career came to a halt. I was faced with a psychological war that had become my badge of honor over the years. Standard military tactics had no place at this juncture, and I was well outside my comfort zone. As a woman warrior, my life to date existed outside the norms of conventional thinking, and I was embarking upon unfamiliar territory. I always found comfort in working with my military colleagues in taking on the mission at hand; in fact, it had become second nature. In retirement, I no longer had a foothold in preserving our US Constitution or protecting our republic from enemies, foreign or domestic. I could not fathom the perplexities of this new journey.My faith in God had always been my armor for strength and courage, so why would it be different now? This time, the enemy resided within me, and I had no escape route. I was alone with my thoughts and had no place to go. Through self-reflection, it became apparent that the most effective way to move through this quagmire was to remain close to my faith and acknowledge my feelings in a deliberate and meaningful way. I have always been analytical by nature, and at a young age, I discovered the arts can offer calm when experiencing feelings of despair. Over time, I discovered writing slowed down my racing thoughts and put me back in control of my well-being. As my introspective reasoning became manageable, prose evolved to poetry, my darkness began to shed light, and healing would learn to reside within me.

--LTC Nina R. Petrarca, USA, Ret.

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